Tuesday, May 15, 2012

Just Because

As I was putting my son to bed this evening, he asked me to rub his back for him until he fell asleep.  This is not an unusual request, but tonight it struck me how different things are these days from the past few years as I felt his smooth, baby-like skin.  We were both commenting on how smooth his skin is, and we kept trying to find spots that were even smoother . . .the tip of his nose, his belly, his back, his cheek.  This was missing when he was an infant and toddler, I envied children with "baby-skin" as my son always felt like sandpaper, not to mention the rashes, flaking, and staph infections.  As I marvel at his progress, I almost forgot how for years his privates were so itchy that he would dig until they bled and scabbed over.  It was so painful watching him suffer and hear him beg for relief; if he could have torn it off he would have.  I worried that he would be permantely scarred both physically and mentally. It dawned on me this evening that it has been a good portion of a year since his privates have itched.

There were nights when I would be up for most of the night holding his hands while he slept to prevent him from doing further damage to himself.  One night in particular I rubbed his face for seven hours so he could rest.  This went on for several months, and I felt as if I aged twenty years. It's all a distant memory now, I just hope he forgets completely one day.

He begs for a baby brother or sister, but I know I have all I can handle.  I've been blessed that he's a loving, empathetic, and bright child.  But I've given all of my energy to healing him, and know I don't have it in me to start all over again.  What if he's my healthy one?  That thought scares me to death.  I hope he doesn't resent being an only child.  And if he does, he'll understand once he has a child of his own just how hard his mom worked at keeping him healthy.  Since I've become a mom I have often wondered if my mom loves me as much as I love my son.  I know the answer is 'yes', but it's hard to understand until you have a child of your own.  Which leads me to my favorite quote: “Making the decision to have a child - it is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body. ” Elizabeth Stone


  1. That is such a touching story. I completely understand your fear of having to start all over again healing another child. My daughter (11ys) has had allergies an eczema all her life. She's my second born and now I have two after her. She's the only one with eczema and allergies. We still struggle with her allergies. She did EPD for three years. That helped a bit. She was traumatized by the needles and harsh food protocol during treatments. The doctor retired and I haven't tried to find another one because she really does hate it. NAET sounds less invasive and something we might try. What did you do for your son? Thanks so much for sharing!
    Lorraine in Toronto

  2. Hi Lorraine, Sorry to hear that your daughter has suffered with allergies and with the treatments. You are one strong momma. I had to look up EPD, and discovered that it's not allowed in the US. But I have heard of LDA which sounds very similar, and actually a gentleman in my office building claims he had great success with it. Here's a link with more info and there appears to be a Dr. in Toronto

    NAET is definitely not invasive. No needles, just accupressure which has my son giggling through the treatments as he says it tickles.

  3. Thank you for posting! My 6 month old is suffering so much because of this and sometimes reading what other tireless moms have done/do gets me through.